why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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