Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
