I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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