420 ftw
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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