I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
