and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
