she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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