Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
