she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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