He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
