There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
