Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
