The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just want nice things and good sex
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
