I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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