They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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