my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
