i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
