Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
