but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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