My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
