we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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