you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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