Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
