butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
