I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
