Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
