he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
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Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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