Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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