wrigley field is MILF paradise
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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