I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
