I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
