WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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