Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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