wat bout pragnant strippers??
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
