every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
