i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
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You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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