I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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