Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
