Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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