man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
