I think im going to throw up on grandma
Small penises have feelings too.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
