Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
