I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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