So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
