just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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