Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
