I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
there is puke in my bra ... again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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