Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
dude. I can hear the air.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
