I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
