I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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