lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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