He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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