so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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