if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
