Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
