what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How external is "for external use only"?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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