i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
