Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My liver just broke up with me...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
